Oasis Senior Advisors: MOM AND DAD JUST AREN’T THE SAME
MOM AND DAD JUST AREN’T THE SAME
Whether we want to admit it or not, the holidays are just around the corner. They are also the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with our families. Whether you travel from out-of-state or the neighboring city, the holidays provide a wonderful opportunity for families to gather, make new memories and reflect on old ones. It’s also the perfect opportunity to observe your elderly adult’s physical, spiritual, and mental capabilities. Unfortunately for some families, the good times can often be overshadowed by the concern for a loved one.
So, what happens when a family member mentions that “mom and dad just aren’t the same?”
Home is where most aging adults will say they wish to live. The ability to do this safely is crucial to remaining as independent as possible, with the lowest level of care needed, and in their chosen environment. It can be a difficult moment when you come to realize that your mom and/or dad need senior care, whether in their home or in a setting like assisted living.
Just as our parents kept us safe, sheltered, and secure when we needed it – there comes a time when we’re called upon to return this same love to our parents. Some of us will provide care to our parents in our own home for a period, but this is not always possible for all families, or always desired by the children or parents themselves. Many families find themselves searching for senior assisted living for loved ones who aren’t safe living alone.
If you see that your loved ones need assisted living care, here are some steps that can help you find the right care:
1. Get Connected with Senior Industry Professionals.
You can consult a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA) at any point in the transition process. Most CSAs offer free services to seniors and their families. Your CSA can provide a list of senior communities that meets the needs and preferences you have already established, and ones that are in your price range. This list of communities is an excellent starting point for your search. From there, a logical way to proceed with the decision-making process is through the process of elimination.
2.Determine What You Can Afford.
Like it or not, money is going to be a factor in most families’searches. Realistically consider what your family can afford on a monthly basis. Look into Veterans benefits, long term care insurance, life insurance policies with a long-term care rider, and assets. Look for creative ways to pay for care.
3.Get Your Loved One Involved.
In the absence of dementia more involved your parents are in the search, the better. Of course, you can do much of the legwork for them, but have discussions with your parents about their desires and preferences and, ideally, present them with a range of options.
4. Tour Senior Communities. No amount of time viewing photos, brochures, floor plans or reviews can substitute for an in-person visit to a community. Schedule a minimum of three community visits. It may be helpful to view up to five or six communities. A good time to tour is during a meal so your loved one can try the food and get a good sense of the community’s culture because residents tend to be more active during mealtime. Narrow down your search of favorites and perform follow-up tours.
5. Come to a Decision. Whether your parent is choosing the community themselves, or whether you need to make that decision for parents impaired by dementia or Alzheimer’s, try to make sure that everyone in your family feels good about the choice. When possible, have conversations with your parents discussing the pros and cons of each option and try to find consensus about the right decision. Your CSA can provide feedback about your favorite communities; help evaluate issues such as care requirements, finances,, and amenity preferences to help you make an informed and confident decision.
6. Make the Move. When families and seniors select an assisted living community, it’s a life changing decision. It can be such an intimidating choice that many families come down with analysis paralysis and postpone a move out of fear of making the wrong choice. It’s risky to procrastinate when a loved one needs care, as the delay can lead to avoidable accidents and medical problems. Have confidence in your choice and make the move.
Every family situation will be unique and will require different solutions. It takes everyone’s willingness to observe, discuss, and change to have the greatest effect with this transition process.
There are no perfect answers just the best answers to meet your family’s dynamics. Remember, senior industry experts are available to help seniors and their families adjust to a new environment. Do not be afraid to acknowledge that “mom and dad just aren’t the same.”
Tanya Godwin
Territory Manager
Oasis Senior Advisors
620 N. 48th St., Ste 104
Lincoln, NE 68504
O: 402-429-8891
C: 402-429-8313
F: 1-402-671-7748
